that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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