it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
