Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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