So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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