physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My vagina is officially offended.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
