hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
no. you can't hotbox the world.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
