I want to have your abortion
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
