I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
