Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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