If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
