Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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