I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
