What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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