she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Randomize
