you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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