...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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