so explain again why im purple
no
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
