Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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