Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
