Your face is a jimmy john
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
