I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
