Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
