It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
