I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
