he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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