I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
