If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
