Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
