As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
