I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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