p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
