we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
