chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
handjob tips. give me some.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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