we have officially lost it.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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