Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
wow bdsm is so cute
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
