im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
