Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
