Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
