it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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