i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
