Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
