Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
