the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
try to milk me bitch
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
