Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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