I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
