Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
