I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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