is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize