I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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