his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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