I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
