the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
