It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
