Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
